Podcast Reboot: Behind the Rose

The government shutdown has stretched into its fourth week. Time feels both frozen and fast. My wife came home from the hospital a week ago—this time with more prescriptions, more needs, more unknowns. The rhythm is starting to settle, but those first few days? Brutal.

She was discharged before I felt ready. But I was ready. I just didn’t know it yet.

The instructions were sparse. The fear was not. Every pill, every dosage, every movement felt like a test I hadn’t studied for. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to fail her. But we’re finding our way. She’s getting better. We’re getting better.

In the midst of it all, I did have a month of rest. I ate well. I slept. I even breathed a little. But now the anxiety of work creeps back in. Bills don’t pause for shutdowns. This is one of those seasons where you lean hard into faith. Trust God. Trust the rhythm.

I fired and hired a new aide. I finally finished a guitar repair that had stumped me for months. I booked a couple of gigs for the rest of the year—still waiting on payment for one I played back in August. Sold a couple of guitars. Preached last week at my home church. Got another preaching engagement lined up for November.

And I made a decision: I’m rebooting the podcast.

I almost deleted it. Thought about scrapping the whole thing. But something stirred. I’m leaning into the name Blusician—even though Music By Spoon might’ve been more playful. When I changed it on my GigSalad account, the leads dried up. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe people just like silly. I’m not feeling very jesterly these days.

The podcast is shifting into a personal journal. I’m calling it Behind the Rose. That rose in the logo—it’s not just decoration. It’s a story. A symbol. A reminder. I had patches made. I’m branding it on my YouTube channel. It feels right.

This isn’t just about music anymore. It’s about legacy. About rhythm in the chaos. About finding beauty in the bruises.

Thanks for walking with me.

—Kenn, the Blusician